Precious Machine

"Listen man I said I was sor--!" I'm cut off by a door slam in my face, the door brushing the very tip of my nose in warning.

How did it even get to this? I sink to the floor, my back resting up against the uninviting door guiltily. I pull my knees in and stare at the floor in reflection.

Let's see here... I was sitting at Rob's huge computer watching the latest episode of that show I like... Well, here comes flashback time... Whooh...

----

"HAH! HOW COULD YOU EVEN MISS THAT?! OH DUDE THAT'S GONNA BRUISE!" I laughed uproariously at the failure of the contestant of the show as they missed the platform and met an embarrassing clout to the face from the rotating obstacle that sent them plummeting down into a pool of mud. My eyes remained glued on the screen as I stuffed a handful of popcorn into my mouth, a few kernels slipping through my fingers and onto the keyboard along with some other discarded pieces.

"Stupid people... they can't even jump to the next platform pssh...", I took a liter of soda in my hand in a flourish and twisted the cap off, "No wonder a hero's work is never done." I snickered and guzzled down a swig of the soda only to spit it out all over the keyboard to hoot at the contestant on the screen. "YEAH YOU SHOW THAT BIG OLD ARM THING WHO'S BOSS!" I pumped my fist in the air and some of soda sloshed out of liter to splash onto the keys. I didn't notice as I cat called riotously, of course.

----

I should have noticed... how could I have been so dense? STUPID WALLY. I roughly smack the side of my head then shake it from side to side. WHY AM I SO THICKHEADED?! I bury my face in my hands at my own stupidity. But I didn't notice of course! Not until he came in...

----

"Wally, what are you--" I barely heard the voice but didn't pay attention to it, too absorbed into my show and the people getting their butts served to them by jets of water and flying mud. Instead, I made the first stupid move of many that sent this whole thing into a spiral of disaster (that's right, there was no aster in this entire thing at all).

"UH HUH I'M WATCHING MY SHOW SHH!" I waved my hand back over my head carelessly, as if to say 'PLEASE DON'T EVEN TRY TO INTERRUPT ME' with the caps and everything.

The little patter of hurried footsteps get a bit louder as they came toward me and I turned to glare at the person who dared come to bother me while I watch my precious TV, mistake number two. And... get ready because here comes number three...

"DICK, DUDE, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY SHOW?!" My voice was still locked in a raised tone from all the shouting I was engaged in and my elevated irritation only made it more harsh. Yeah. That was smooth. Not.

I continued to glare up at him like he was my mortal enemy (mistake four, in case you are keeping track) as he analyzes the keyboard and computer with widened eyes.

----

If I wasn't such a BONE HEAD I would have noticed then! But noooo, of course I didn't. I smack my forehead a second time, beyond angry at myself.

----

Dick paused in apparent shock but I ignored it and turn back to my show in a huff (number five). "Wally..." He began at low volume, obviously holding back some passion that was building up. "What?" My eyebrow twitched in further annoyance and I stuffed another handful of popcorn into my mouth messily (number six... Oh man, that's really a climbing number now...) He remained eerily calm for a moment as he watched a few of the kernels fall from my hand to join the rest on the big old space bar. He kept his composure up, albeit a bit more tense than before, "Wally... why are you watching TV on my computer?"

I rolled my eyes as I replied snidely, "Superboy was so entranced by his little black and white pixels in the break room that he basically threatened me that if I didn't leave he'd punch me into the wall." Dick stared pointedly at the food (which I only see as a hint now of course) and remained quiet. "Okay, so maybe he didn't say that. But you know that when he gives you that look, you know the one I'm talking about, you know that's what he's implying." I scoffed, thinking shallowly that that was the reason why Dick was so unresponsive.

----

I rub my temple with my index finger and thumb as I try as hard as I can to remember the exact details of what went down. Making that mistake... shoot, eight? I'm starting to really rack it up, no wonder right after this he...

----

"And what gave you the right to barge into my room and use my computer!" He shouted at me, the tension he had clearly been trying to hold back finally breaking through the dam of coolness.

I turned towards him, shooting him back an icy scowl, "Well, you said that it'd be cool to use your computer if I needed to!"

"I said you could if you needed it for school work or research!" His face started to turn red as his voice began to reach a new amplification , "Not for using it as a dinner table!"

I stood up to confront him, getting all up in his face as I snapped back, "I'm not using your precious machine as a dinner table, I'm using it to watch my show which you know you should not be interrupting!" That brings the count up to eleven... anyone want to bet I'll make it up to the unlucky thirteen? Anyone?

"My 'precious machine'?! Wally, Mary is a very precious and special--"

I started laughing derogatorily before he could finish his sentence.

Are you ready for this guys? Because this is the big moment where I become a total jerk.

"MARY?!" I cackled like the very villains I hate with a vengeance, "YOU NAMED YOUR STUPID COMPUTER?!"

Yup. Total up to thirteen. Although it should count more for like thirteen hundred thousand. Congratulations to those who have won your bets. I hope you are very happy with yourselves. As for me, I get this.

WHAM.

Next thing I knew, I was sideways on the ground and Dick's leg was clear up in the air. Yup. He round-housed my butt. As I rightfully deserved. It was then that I saw what I had done as I looked up at him and I could feel my expression drop in shock.

He huffed and puffed in pure rage for a second, his leg still over my face like he was about ready to chop my face clean off with it. My eyes must have widened in some sort of terror because his furious, burning pupils soon widened in realization and his foot relaxed. I waited for a second to make sure he didn't reconsider, lying there on my back with a downright pathetic appearance. I'm so glad no one walked in, especially someone like Artemis or I'd have died inside right there. The look in my best friend's eyes and the situation we were in-- scratch that that I put us in was scarring enough.

"..." Dick still didn't utter a word as he hung his head and raised a hand to press his sunglasses farther onto his nose bridge. He lowered his leg back down and I scrambled up to my feet. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and glanced away and at the ground shamefully, already preparing myself for what I was sure was going to be a full lecture on how much of an idiot I am.

No, instead Dick darted away, hanging his head low and making quick strides to get out of the room fast. I glimpsed up to see his back disappear out the door way and blinked in surprise. Wait, so, what exactly just happened? My mind was already reeling as I chase after him, "Hey! Wait!"

He broke out into a run, even though I'm sure he knows he can't beat me. I pretty much instantaneously cut the the distance between us and reach out to grab his shoulder and turn him around, "DUDE! WAIT! I'M SORRY!" He flinched his shoulder aside so my hand batted at the open air and he ducked into the closest room (which happens to be mine, oh the irony. It has to be provided from somewhere.)

----

And here we are. Now caught up to speed and in the present.

I take a deep breath and run my hand through my hair from my forehead to the back of my neck.

I've made quite the mess. But what can I do to fix it? THINK, WALLY, THINK. WHAT WOULD UNCLE BARRY DO?

I clamp my eyes shut in thought and purse my lips.

He'd get ice cream or Megan's cookies. But that wouldn't help... or would it?

I open my eyes and scan the hallway. Once I check to make sure the coast is clear I zip to the kitchen, snatch the plate of M'gann's piping hot and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and a carton of the mint chocolate chip ice cream from the freezer (Dick's favorite, just a side note), then balance the two items in hand as I knock on my door with my foot. "Dick..?" I murmur sheepishly, "Diiiick..?"

No answer. You could hear a pin drop in this sort of silence, I swear. I frown and knock a bit more forcefully and call hopefully, "Diiiick? I have your favorite desserts man... chocolate chip cookies and mint chocolate chip ice cream..." Still nothing. Shoot. "Uhh..." I chew on my bottom lip in thought, "Megan made them fresh... they're nice and hot... kinda like her but ehehe..." I laugh awkwardly at my own joke then regret it as I still get no reply.

I sigh and my resolve begins to fade as I stare down at that space in between the door and the floor. I begin in a more serious tone, "Look, dude, I'm really sorry... I was a total jerk and I shouldn't have done all of the... what was it again..." I pause to remember my number of mistakes but can't and shake my head at myself, "I guess around like fifteen mistakes I made, especially the one about Mary's name. I'm really, really, really, really, really, super, super, super, sorry like you have no idea man, I was so stupid and I'm such a bone head and I really, really, really, hate myself right now for doing this to you, I mean, I'm like your best friend so I shouldn't--"

"You're being a motormouth again."

I stop mid sentence as I hear his voice from the other side of the door. "Ah-- I-- I guess I am..." I chuckle half heartedly at myself in embarrassment, "Sorry... I know you hate that..."

"I don't actually." He pipes up then is silent. "Oh!" I blink then start running off my mouth again, "Okay, so I'll keep with the apologies in that case because I really, really, REALLY didn't--"

I stop as the door knob turns and the door is cracked open a bit. After a slight hesitation, the door is opened up a bit more and I can finally see Dick as he stands there, staring down at my feet with his raven colored bangs hanging over his face. He keeps a tight grip on the door and I pick up on the fact that I have to make sure to say the right things or get roughed up some more.

I swallow hard and say with good intention, "Well... I uh... I really am sorry... and... I'll go clean Mary right now, I swear..." I hold out the carton and plate to him, sheepishly watching for his reaction.

He lets go of the door and reaches out to grip the plate. I ease up on my hold for him to slip it out of my hand and gather up it in his own to bring over to himself. His head lifts slightly so he can examine the plate and I gently toss the carton in between my hands in suspension. He says nothing but picks up a cookie, turning it around in his hand for a second before sticking it in his mouth. I grin slightly at the rather cute sight and at my own success.

I then speak up, "Ah, so, I should get spoons for the ice cream..." He nods and goes into my room and I quickly run to nab the two spoons then follow after him inside. I shut the door behind me and spot him sitting at the edge of my bed, munching on the cookies. I drift over and plop down next to him, offering him a spoon. He sinks his teeth into a half eaten cookie to hold it while he takes the spoon from me. Oh Dick. The little things you do amuse me.

I smirk slightly and break open the lid, but wait for Dick to dig his spoon in first before taking a modest spoonful for myself. I resist the urge I have to reach for a cookie, doing my best to ignore the aroma tickling at my nose. They're for Dick after all, it'd be only meaner if I took one no matter how good they're sure to be. I also opt out of saying anything, respecting Dick's wish for silence as we take turns dipping into the ice cream.

Soon the carton gets a bit soggy around the cardboard edges and the ice cream melts to be somewhat warm and soupy so I look at him as if to ask if I should go put it back. He nods and I take his spoon from him and put the carton back in the freezer and the spoons in the sink. I walk back to see Dick still chowing on those cookies.

He's the type to take his time eating and enjoying food of course, I mean he did grow up on Alfred's cooking so who wouldn't, but that aside he was chewing a bit more slowly and thoughtfully than usual. His mind had obviously been occupied and unsettled the entire time, my own being on hyper sensitivity to pick up on every little thing I did to make sure I didn't screw up again.

I carefully sit back down next to him and he swallows the last of one cookie, his hand returning to grip the edge of the plate. He pauses for a second and I watch as he puts the plate to his side afterwards to return his hands to his lap and wring them together in hesitation. "What's on your mind?" I ask cautiously, wondering if I had just blown the entire effort now. He sucks in a breath dreadfully slowly but I keep my composure, eager to ease his mind.

"You see..." He starts then lowers his voice to a whisper, "Computers are really close to me, you know that." I nod in agreement. He only spends most of his free time with electronics. Or training. Or me. But that's besides the point.

"Right... I've become attached to them with all the time that I spend on them." He slowly builds up, "I mean, before I met you especially, Batman would be off on missions or with the Justice League and I'd get bored or depressed so I'd go on the computer and mess around, you know? That's where I started to expand my hacking skill."

I listen intently, nodding to make sure he knows I'm paying full and undivided attention. He looks up at me then shies back to watching his hands as he plays with his fingers, "Right... so I decided to name my computers. And that one in particular was special because Batman got it for me on Mother's Day since I was down... hence the name Mary..."

Suddenly everything clicked to me.

"Oh... Oh, man, I am so sorry Dick..." I mentally give myself a black eye for my idiocy. "I... I should have realized..."

He shakes his head and shrugs, "It's fine, don't worry about it. You didn't know."

"Maybe but I should have been more sensitive anyway..." I run my hand through my hair again only to clamp some hair in my fist.

He sighs again and reaches up to remove my hand from my hair, "Dude, don't beat yourself up over this. I'm the one who kicked you. I should be the one apologizing."

I shake my head furiously, "No way! You had all the right to do that, I was a total bone head!" He gives me this look where he narrows his eyes and frowns slightly. You know, the kind that someone gives you when they totally don't believe you when you swear you didn't eat all of the leftover cake and both of you know otherwise but they still want to give you the benefit of the doubt. Yeah. One of those.

"I'm serious!" My voice fluctuates in exasperation. He sighs and turns away from me. I blink in surprise and try to look over his shoulder to see what he's up to.

"Shut up." He commands sternly as he shoves a cookie into my mouth. I stagger back in surprise and raise my hands up to my mouth to catch the cookie before the rest of it falls to the ground. "Remember to do that if you ever eat near my stuff again." Dick chuckles and I grin wide like an idiot. Yes, success! I got him to open up and laugh again!

I nod and gulp down the cookie to say, "I won't eat near your stuff again, especially Mary, I swear!" He smirks in smug triumph, "Good." Hah, he can be such a jerk too.

"You're so blunt you know that?" I narrow my eyes at him mischievously. He copies my look and we lock in a playful stare down.

"I learned it from Batman himself." He grins devilishly and I mirror the look as I inconspicuously reach beyond him to the plate of cookies. "Oh really?" I flash my goofy smirk at him in challenge.  

"Really." He states plainly as he grabs my arm and twists it behind my back.

"UNCLE! UNCLE!" I flail my other arm around and laugh as I play along.

Dick keeps my arm pinned with one hand as he takes another cookie and smooshes it into my mouth forcibly, "No way!"

He laughs at my 'torture' and I can't help but think that I love my best friend and will always do my best to make him grin wider than the freaking Joker all the time. That and that I should always keep a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer.